Illusion

where were you
when the night
grew darker?
by my side?
near or yonder?

i remember when
i would draw within
because reaching out
felt a sin

against myself
when no one else
would reach back out
to relieve my doubts

nonetheless
as i digress
i've come to realize
it's all a test

relying on others
embracing a lover
is all an illusion
i have yet to discover