I’m A Real Gas

For Georgina’s and Larry’s Humorous Poem Contest

I really love to flatulate, I do it all the time;

I’ve even given them some names, so ridiculous its sublime!

The first I call my “S.B.D.”, you’ll not hear it head your way;

It is my “silent” but so deadly one; its stench will make you sway!

The next is even worse than that, the “fly me to the moon”;

Usually administered when my tummy’s sick, or when I’ve eaten lots of prunes!

Another ones “The Assripper”, it explodes just like a nuke;

At least it gives you time to run, but if it catches you, you’ll puke!

I have several more of these little pets, for I’m a gassy guy;

They give me joy when I share of them, ‘cause I laugh until I cry!

Do you know why God made farts smell?  I’ll bet I’ve stumped you there;

It’s so deaf people could enjoy them too, for God is always fair!

Postscript

A Vote For Larry Is A Vote For Democracy!