Im trying

I’m trying so hard to show that your digs don’t make me feel like a hole with nothing planted in yet in reality they do 
I’m trying not to  cry over how I want you there to see me achieve the things I once dreamed of 

I’m forcing myself to try and smile but deep inside all I can feel is the smile you gave me as your hand touched my thigh
 
I’m forcing myself to try new things yet at every corner I think I see you 

I’m trying to not let the gestures bother me yet each time I see a sun-glassed face I think of you 
I’m trying to move past you as I don’t know why you threaten me more than him 

I’m writing this to show the affects of your actions yet you’ll never read this so for now it stays as just a hope and a dream