J.D.C

This is the last time I will write to you 
Because I know now the pain won’t go away 
No matter how many times I tell you
I don’t want this to be your last day 

See, it doesn’t matter what I say 
You never listen anyway 

I want you to be the brother I remember
The one who played with me
And helped me learn about life 
And taught me to be the best I can be 

But I don’t think he exists anymore 
As I’ve said before 

Christmas will be here soon
But you may not even be alive by then 
It’s unquestionably always a gamble 
All I can do is pray Amen 

I genuinely wish you could see from someone else’s eyes 
We can see through your meanness and most of your lies 
  
We have to see you beaten, bruised, and hurt 
I have to see you, and it breaks my heart 
But hey who cares, right? 
You sure as hell don’t 

I’d like to say I hate you 
Is there any good it’ll do?

Is there anything I can say?
I mean anything at all 
I’d give up my own life 
If it’d help you in any way overall 

Whenever I cry it’s not because I love you
It’s because you don’t love me too 

I know it’s too much and you won’t read it all
So I’ll leave it at this 
We know you’re already gone 
Your body is here, but your soul is an abyss 

I hope to see you again, maybe one day in heaven 
Even if it’s only for that one second