Joie de vivre cost me nothing to purchase

No rhyme nor reason why
with yours truly ejaculating
(not prematurely), I utter yippee,
nope no intercourse induced whoopie

upon this... - day three
January two thousand and twenty one
perhaps consummation,
regarding aforesaid euphoric mood
indicative I will become philanthropy

recipient i.e. anonymous lucky payee
before anniversary of this monkey
exhibiting fits and starts
orbitz nearest star
while linkedin to planet Earth

as (mush ado about nothing)
spasmodically thrashing
as garden variety generic
Homo sapien protoplasmic beef jerky.

Courtesy guilty conscience,
I verily, timidly, readily... admit
no criminal mind nor hanky panky
whereby unfettered naughty bit
no way no how frolicked courtesy dalliance

though trespassing, plucking,
and nibbling verboten fruit
this average Joe didst commit,
which extramarital trysts
cost hefty penalty fee (think debit)

to checking account exhibit
head by mine absence one night
years ago, when we lived
at 724 West Railroad Avenue
thee missus exploded livid fit

of rage found me stony faced with true grit
feeling proudly unrepentant
what an ingrate hypocrite
pledging troth after rubbing noses
analogous as flirtatious custom to Inuit.

Thus smugness and/or feeling upbeat
seems heretical (in retrospect)
cuz promised covenant chaste away,
when sowing wild oats/gathering rosebuds...
like a mad bitching dog in heat

one errant husband
upon wife did swing and cheat,
which wedded connubial bliss
more pronounced now after commiting
egregious sexual feat.

Figurative emasculation discovered
visa vis promiscuous escapades
redemption (no matter an atheist) proffered
hence an ideal place to enclose final word.