Poem -

Joint Bank Account

Joint Bank Account

When you asked how much money that I have in the bank, $100,000 is the amount.
We got married last week and you're asking for you and I to have a joint bank account.
I'll give you my answer and the answer is hell no.
If I said yes, the amount that I would have is zero.
Every time you go shopping, the amount you spend is pretty steep.
I have $100,000 in the bank and that money is what I intend to keep.
As soon as we got married, your rich father cut you off.
When you spend money, you're like a pig at its trough.
You want a joint bank account so that you can buy a car, a diamond ring and a designer gown.
If I said yes to what you want, the amount of money that I have in the bank would go way down.
You won't shut up and you're driving me right out of my skull.
I've had enough, you signed a prenup and I'm going to have our marriage annulled.
You say that when I get an annulment, you'll go live with your father again.
But he has changed the locks on his doors because of how much you spend.
He's glad to be rid of you and when I get an annulment, so will I.
I hope I never meet another woman like you, I would rather die.

 

Like 1 Pin it 1
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Poem -

My Baby Doll - Part IX

Dedicated to Agnes (2011-2020) who died five years ago today on...

My Baby Doll - Part IX

You were my baby doll and I owned you for almost seven years.
You were my all time favorite dog and...

Poem -

R.I.P. Rick Hurst

Dedicated to Rick Hurst (1946-2025) who died on June 26, 2025.

R.I.P. Rick Hurst

He starred in "The Dukes Of Hazzard" and he was a talented man.
He starred as "Deputy Cletus Hogg"...

Poem -

The 30th Anniversary Of...

I graduated from high school 30 years ago today on June 21, 1995

The 30th Anniversary Of Graduating From High School

I dropped out of high school in August of 1986.
In 1993, that was a mistake that I decided to fix....

Latest poems in Comedy

Poem -

Prolonged offal bout...

Upteenth instance where yours truly experienced assault upon...

Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... redux revisited

A worse hellish fate than perdition
and the closest in the throes
of agonizing death scene...

Poem -

A magnet for tsuris

A magnet for tsuris

Summation notation of achievements
wrought absolute zero
pridefulness to self -
a...

Poem -

I sing the praises of...

I sing the praises of Sterilite

(even Mary Poppins would tout
a plug for said company she would spout
forcing playthings...

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com