Larry's Responses To Georgina's Twit Club 11/28/16

A good Geography teacher should never be able to tell a pupil to get lost!

Only if she's playing hid and seek with them!!

What`s a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?

They both hide in bushes trying to get a Pikachu!

Better than getting a "piece of you"!!

In the beginning God created Heaven, Hell and the Earth, after that everything else was made in bloody China!

Wrong, Hell was made in China!!

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double, is when you finally realize that there is only one slice of Pizza left and the bloody wife got there first!

But she left it for you as a sign that you're spending too much dough on Booze!!

Most household injuries are caused by saying " Whatever " during an argument!

Actually, more are caused when one's spouse asks "Are you interested in sex/". and you respond "Whatever"!!

You know that tingly feeling you get when you like someone?! That`s just bloody common sense leaving your body!

But the promise of having something else leave your body too, makes it all worthwhile!!

My hubby confessed the other day that he doesn't understand fast food! He`s been secretly eating it for years but says he seems to be getting slower and slower!

He should try "fasting"!!

Him indoors is not completely bloody useless, I suppose he could always serve as a bad example!

As long as he doesn't serve you with divorce papers, who cares??

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"!!!

Practice makes perfect!!!

What goes up but never descends?....Your age!!

But going down in your senior years is the best!!

Middle age is when work is significantly less fun and fun is significantly more bloody work!

Work is the curse of the proletariats!!

When I need to assemble a family conference I simply kill the house wifi and sit bloody tight till all the silly sods come running to me!

Or if someone kills themselves and they'll all come for the reading of their will!!

They say that regular naps prevent old age! Definitely...especially if you take them while you`re bloody driving!

It all depends on how you interpret "driving"!!

These bloody days, the older I get, the earlier it gets late!

Better late than never!!

What happened to the bloke who first discovered electricity?

The silly bloody sod got one hell of a bloody shock!

Thus was the start of "shock" therapy!!!