Lifeless

If I took this knife 
and slit my wrist 
Would anybody give a fuck?
Would I be missed? 

If I ended my life 
and put this nightmare 
to rest beneath us
Would anybody even care?

I lie here crying 
in sorrow and pain
because of words that were said 
to tell me I'm vain 

the knife lays beside me 
so shiny and sharp
It would be so easy 
they would never again harp

about my actions 
or about my life
with one quick movement
I would put an end to this strife

Its all my fault
I am ALWAYS to blame
after everything goes wrong
I should be put to shame

I cut myself
to see if I still feel
I want to make certain
everything is real

and it is
that is the scary part
What made this happen?
When did this start?

I don't understand
You hate me?
I am worthless 
this I can see

I thought we were friends
apparently it was a lie
say to my face 
what you say to our allies

if you hate me 
tell me 
if you think I'm a whore
I need to see

your point of view 
I've been told by everyone
I do not need you 
to tell me who I have become

NOTHING has changed
that's good to know
you think so little of me
I guess I was slow

to think that I could actually be liked 
by other people 
including myself
I was the fool

How can I be loved? 
there is not a chance 
because apparently I'm a slut 
at first glance

but I am not
I don't sleep around
I just talk
to the new "friends" I've found

but how could someone 
as worthless as myself
have people to care
for me and my health 

the cuts are red 
but need to be deeper
to remind myself 
To follow the reaper

I am shit
Nothing and priceless
maybe I should do the world a favor 
and render myself Lifeless