Life's a Lie

I was at the top of my game, I owned my last name. At the rate I was going I was making history, I could've been the best in state. Only here I stand confused, after years of being used I believe I've finally subdued to the demons that reside in my head. Don't make me sound crazy, don't take my words as lazy; know I do what I do not because I have to. You'll never be in the exact place I was, in the same darkness with no light above. I was alone in a crowd, no one could hear me even when I screamed out loud. My story tells two, it tells an old and a new. I've lived seventeen years and I cannot tell you all my heartbreaks, and all my tears. There's something different, my name always stayed the same. I was an honor roll high school pill popping drop out. No one thought I would make it, they were all filled with doubt. There were times I was abused, there were times I felt so down, I barely even knew my own town. I must come clean and let you know I've relapsed, I need a prescription in another's name to make me feel sane. Look at me differently, look at me with hate, eyes that judge create feelings that never budge. My own role models pushed me down, I got picked on by the class clown. These things I say though at some points seem dark, this is what made me who I am and the bad times are only a mark on a mirror with no demeanor.