'LITTLE GIRL'

Rejected and neglected by my own mum
People say pain heals over time
But I have never healed
Whenever I see my mum interact with her other kids
It makes me feel something which I can't explain
Like a ball is trapped and I can't breathe
All because I picture the mother I had
And question how could she leave?
I see her with my siblings she's not a 'bad mum'
She loves them, cares for them, gives them what they need
I guess I just got jealous that she wasn't by my side
I have these feelings that I leave bottled up and I hide
I love my siblings they bring me hope and joy
But I also see how they have a mum and I never did
She just left me when I was a kid
How can she love them but not me?
Was I a horrible kid... I mean how can I be any better?
You make out I'm selfish and put my needs first
But forget the heartache you put upon me
You forget the times I visited you whilst you were inside
The chances I gave you to try and be my mum
But every single time you threw it back in my face
"Text me when you grow up grace"
How can a mother say that to a child
For expressing how they feel...
You don't appreciate my creative side, you say i'm just a stuck up little girl
Maybe I am but its because i'm so broken
By the lies you fed me and the dreams you crushed 
I stood up to you because I am that 'little girl'
Who finally had enough.