Locked Out of Heaven

Haunted pavilions
Surrounded by my misery
Into darkness goes my 
Hope 
Crushing doubt 
Calls to capture me
i am beyond cursed
No mythological being 
is rushing in on wings 
No reprieve from my 
Never ending journey
Into the abyss
Why fight ?
If I attempt to rise 
​​​​​​When I feel a touch 
of happiness
It is taken from me so swiftly 
So utterly
So cruelly
Why am I alive?
Only for the experiment 
To continue
To see how much. Pain
And suffering and
Humiliation
I can endure.
Whispers of evil
Friends that are foes
There is no safe place
No kindness
No mercy 
Yet I linger
Like the undead
Zombie walking the
Earth.
Locked out of heaven
Despised by hell
I walk