losing game

I don't know what to do I feel so confused 
What's the big deal if I win or lose
Wander who would notice wander who would care
They would probably be happy with the space to spare 
I feel a waste of space and lonely inside 
Wander if they heard me of a night when I cried 
I'm not a strong person I feel I have lost
Of the will to be happy and death was my cost
I love you all to pieces I never meant to hurt
But what I feel inside is as horrible as dirt
Please don't be sad as it was my choice
Deep in my soul there was a screaming voice 
I felt horrible yet frightened but bad inside
I had no dignity willpower nor pride 
My time has come a journey to a place 
We're I know I'll be happy and have a smile on my face