Lost Love

You know love is lost when you’ve done all you can do, and the love is never regained. You know love is lost when the feelings you felt all have changed.
 
You know love is lost when your thoughts overwhelm you and the bad out weighs the good, you know the love is lost when you’ve taken every measure, but still no changes and fought as hard as you could.
 
You know love is lost when you no longer feel secure and protected, you can’t talk like you use to and you no longer have that deep connection. You know love is lost when don’t feel wanted or beautiful any longer but unused, abused and neglected. You keep trying to fix the pieces, but you fall down more, and you feel so rejected.
 
You know love is lost when you cry more than you smile, you know love is lost when you feel broken all the time always on defense and fragile. The tears won’t stop, and you no longer know what happiness is because you haven’t felt it in a while.
 
You know love is lost when even though its been years and they are all you know so you stay, even though you’ve lost yourself and more fades away every day. Tearing each other down and instead of lifting one another up, never satisfied with the other both have had more than enough.
 
You know love is lost when all you remember is all the pain and tears, all the affairs, abuse, and alcohol, and depression over the years. You gave you whole life to them and lingered on the promises to change, you stood by them and believed in them and swallowed and endured the pain.
 
You couldn’t deal with your own problems because you tried to help them cope with theirs and and lot of the issues you had they were never even there. Deaths, self-esteem, and even isolation, yet they never noticed you were drowning because there was a lack of communication.
 
Crying alone and trying to make it work so that they didn’t loose you, taking the blame for everything while you were with everyone never wanting to choose, between the streets, your friends, drinking and other partners making me look like a fool.

You know love is lost when they say I love you still and you will always have my heart, you know love is lost when you are less happy together than when your apart.

You know love is lost when you beg them to help you, but they just watch you struggle to make a way, you know love is lost when you pray God tells you its deadly to stay.

You know love is lost when I must be a mom and dad to your child, you know love is lost when you keep making excuses and more apologies, turn to acts of shame and denial. You’d rather lie and run away from the choices you have made, rather than change your life and ways so I won’t leave but stay.

I now know that love is lost so I look to a brighter future without you and me together, since love is lost I realized our forever turned into never.

I dedicated enough time to you, I can longer play these games, and watch myself fade, I must turn the other way. Move on with my life as hard as it may be, I know God has new blessings ahead, and can’t wait to see what’s in store for me.

Although the chapter is still not completely over but in the processed of being closed, I know the story must end, I now know love has been lost and this is battle I’ll never win.