Marinated

Terrified of wasting my time 
Love isn't a crime 
Rejection and expecting
Is what we fear of being projected 
These days 
Money over powers everything
I wish we could pay for things 
With a simple smile 
A laugh and a joke 
But most guys just want to hold me down
Only for a night 
Craving to wrap their hands around my neck 
And make me choke 
I'll be honest 
I don't ever remember being this fucking broke 
Where's Harry when you need him
And his invisibility cloak
So embarrassed 
How did I develop
This erratic habit
I'm too old to make excuses 
Poetry is what I want to pursue in
My thoughts pour out 
And stick like glue 
I don't just write for me, you and the person you're sitting next to
The purpose of my words 
Is to let go of my innermost demons 
Sometimes when I'm dreaming 
I awake in cold sweats 
And start screaming 
My vivid nightmares 
Feel far to real 
Ask me about my issues 
I'm nothing special 
Still far from different
Because today
Everyone's idea of different is the same 
I prefer to be altered
Marinated 
And a little salted