Misunderstood Dialogue

It's an up and it's a down it's a I love you and a go fuck yourself. It's one way and then it's another. I'm in love then I'm filled with hate. Seconds matter. I'm so pissed off at the world. I'm done with reality, I don't even know my own sexuality. I'm confused and about to lose. Once I watched you walk up to someone else looking at them the way you used to look at me. Hates baggage  and I'm a fucking bellboy. You drive me insane and this fire is more than a flame. Fuck a broken heart you shattered my soul. Maybe I deserve everything I've got, maybe I deserve a castle in the sky. All I know is these pills make me feel the same way you make me feel. I hate them but I can't stop taking them. Tomorrow will be better. How can something I can't see get better. Have you ever felt the way I feel. Have you ever been so fucking frustrated suicide starts looking like a good option. I'm going insane, I burned my own name. For you I'd risk it all, but I wish I never even fucking met you. I contradict myself with every sentence. Fuck this, I'm no poet.