Poem -

Murder

Murder

Murder was the cause of death,
The detective said today,
The victim met with cold revenge,
You could tell it by the way.

The murder weapon was still present,
Like a statement to the town,
The body was found in clear plain sight,
Lying there on the ground.

The reason for the cold revenge,
Only god above would know, The way the blade was sticking out,
The way the blood did flow.

The victim's body was stiff and still,
The man's body was cold to touch,
A deep slice line across his neck,
The blade deep within his crotch.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,
The detective's words were clear,
Nothing can summon an anger like that,
And it's something for you to fear. 

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Comments

author
Dean Kuch

Good use of slant rhyme pairings with "ground" and "town", Glen.
The same can be said for a line in your fourth stanza, with "touch" and "crotch."
This reminded me of the Lorena Bobbitt case and what she did to her husband, John.
The abcb rhyme scheme flowed along nicely.
Well penned...
~Dean Kuch

Reply
author
Glen Hill

Thankyou dean for an in depth breakdown, i love to hear what other people think of my poems, much appreciated thanks

Reply
author
Dean Kuch

I enjoy reading what readers think of my poetry as well, Glen.
I believe that's why were here, to get feedback and improve.
You're very welcome.
~Dean

Reply
author
Terry Kay

Glen, I love this piece.  Well written my new Cyber poet.  Thanks for sharing.  Terry Kay

Reply
author
Glen Hill

Thanks Terry, i am glad you liked it

Reply
author
Terry Kay

You sure might succeed in that.  Thank you too!  Terry Kay

Reply
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