MY FALLEN ANGELS

Awakened by an eerie dream 
Of weary angels with tattered wings 
Their song was woeful and it broke my heart 
I asked them if they knew the part 
Where alone I’ve gone through hell 
The angel closest to me sighed, 
and then began to yell. 
“Dear child don’t be selfish, 
life’s not always about you” 
“You think we left you all alone; 
yet this simply is not true.” 
Another spoke much quieter, she said, 
“I beg your pardon,” 
“You’ve had the best protecting you, 
Hand plucked, from heavens garden.” 
My response was if that is true 
then please explain, 
how each of them were able 
The youngest one emerged just then 
from underneath my table, 
He was a child of maybe ten 
I wondered how he died, 
With tears falling from his eyes he whispered 
“we have tried,” 
Timidly he approached me, 
a tarnished halo on his head 
Then nearly imperceptibly, 
the youngest angel said, 
“We were beaten quite extensively, 
and for a long, long time” 
“Our wings you see are tattered now; 
and we need our wings to fly, 
It’s hard to sit and listen 
to all that they’d endured 
I realized right then how badly 
my vision was obscured. 
I can't express how dreary it feels 
to have made these angels fall 
An elderly angel shuffled towards me, 
with no wings at all 
while looking deep into my soul, 
he struggled to convey 
“All the demons were a burden, sure. But they’re all gone today.” 
“ Sadly one remains however unconquered, your worst nemesis... is you,” 
We've come bearing hope today 
perhaps that you‘d know what to do 
I looked upon the wearied group, I'll fight me on my own, 
With hopefully a fraction of the heart my angels have shown
I must not show my fear
“I’m sorry,” 
I said loudly, 
to be sure they each could hear 
I promised them I’d do my best, 
though surely they could see... 
The beast in there’s enormous 
and nastier than me 
 I realize I am not as good or strong as my angels and they fell down 
Gracefully an angelic girl approached me
wearing a flowing gown 
She took my hand and relayed
a message sent from above 
“All you need is in your heart 
the most powerful weapons love.” 
Heidi Shavill 
2014