My Son Won't Get A PS5 For Christmas

I was nearly killed and I'm damn lucky to be alive.
This Christmas my son won't get a Playstation 5.
My son is a brat and he wants a PS5 more than anything else on this earth.
He's so spoiled that I wish I had used a condom nine months before his birth.
Only Walmart had a PS5 and they only had one left.
But when I bought it, I nearly took my final breath.
Five people demanded that I give them the PS5 after I bought it.
One guy knew judo and karate and after he kicked my ass, he got it.
I whooped the other four people but because of his martial arts, I couldn't take him.
When I told my son that I couldn't give him a PS5, he said that I decided to forsake him.
When my son got even, I sure didn't thank him.
He torched my truck so I decided to spank him.
I put him over my knee and I beat his ass like it was a set of drums.
His ass is so sore that it will be weeks before he can sit on his bum.
You may be laughing at my misfortune but it's a foolish thing to do.
Just remember that if your son wants a PS5, the same things may happen to you.