Poem -

My Star Wars Action Figures

My Star Wars Action Figures

When I built a time machine, I traveled back to 1977 and gave my younger self a hard smack.
When I was a child, I bought the Star Wars action figures and removed them from their packs.
I told my younger self not to do that because it ruins the value of the dolls.
Even though I traveled back in time, he ignored me, he didn't listen at all.
He continued to remove the figures from the packs ans so I traveled back in time again.
This time I took a gun with me and I got so angry that I shot my younger self in the shin.
I begged him not to remove the figures from the packs but he ignored every word.
He told me to f*** off and then the little bastard gave me the bird.
He thought I was bluffing and he left me with no choice but to pull the trigger.
That bullet was painful enough to convince him not to ruin the value of my figures.
That bullet is still in my shin and when I sit down, it really hurts and I cry like a little bitch.
But it's worth it because a collector paid me $1,000,000 for my figures and now I'm rich.

Like 0 Pin it 0
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Log in to leave a comment.
Poem -

Goodbye Gene Hackman - Part 3

Dedicated to Gene Hackman (1930-2025) who was found dead on...

Goodbye Gene Hackman - Part 3

Gene starred as Lex Luthor three times.
And he starred in "Behind Enemy Lines".
His death was...

Poem -

Rest In Peace, Mom - Part VIII

Dedicated to Agnes Greene-Johnson (1948-2013) who passed away...

Rest In Peace, Mom - Part VIII

It was twelve years ago today when I found you dead.
I knew you had died because you were lying...

Poem -

Goodbye Gene Hackman - Part 2

Dedicated to Gene Hackman (1930-2025) who was found dead on...

Goodbye Gene Hackman - Part 2

Gene Hackman has died and so has his wife.
After ninety-five years, Hackman lost his life.
...

Latest poems in Comedy

Poem -

Lost libido as rez erected...

Lost libido as rez erected cockamamie Shtrungool haint no prickly fallacy

The following pastiche
poetically pricked prick,
whereby fantasy courtesy Eros
(ἔρως)...

Poem -

Texting and sexting as therapy

Texting and sexting as therapy

though many men,
(especially former Norwegian
bachelor farmers from Lake Woebegone, -
...

Poem -

Ordinary married...

Ordinary married sexagenarian mortal fêted as savior incarnate...

Courtesy a plethora of marriageable females
dogging, hounding, and lowing the living daylights...

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com