"Not my child"

Once upon a shopping day you see,

A lady was staring at me,

She asked if I remember her,

Uncomfortably I said no,

To this she said, you must know,

As I have your child,

I jumped and explained my past that was wild,

I met a woman like you at the pub,

From there we went to a club,

We were both extremely drunk,

Probably as bad as a skunk,

I had my way with you on the table,

I had my way with you in the stable,

As a matter of fact so did my friend,

This I’m sure the enjoyment you did extend,

Well this could be why,

This child could be from any guy,

No you explained, you fool,

I am a teacher at your child’s school.