Not You

Please don't
break my heart,
not you.
I've been a soldier
like I promised to do.
I am alone,
and that's not good
I don't love myself
as much as I should
How can you
turn your back on me?
And continue pretending
not to see
I fell in love with you
so deeply although
You warned me not to…
I know!
Its always the same,
I pretend I don't care,
This game drives me crazy,
you aren't playing fair
Why don't you say
what you feel in your heart
That you'll never
love me back
right from the start
Instead you allow
me to feel like a fool
I guess
I am delusional
thinking we share
something cool.
Instead
you look at me
with that face,
You spit your game
It's nothing new.
I'm used to it you're
all the same.
Heidi Shavill
2019