One last time

One last time and I will stop
One more cut and I’ll be done.
Just one more time of feeling
Like a human. The thoughts 
That won’t let me sleep.
Slowly winning over me. Seeing 
Their power on my wrist. 

Mind racing back to them.
My parents the people
Who promised to love me 
To keep me safe and yet
I failed them once again. 
I wish I could say sorry for 
Everything I said for every 
Stupid thing I did. I wish I wouldn’t put them trough all that pain.

To my friends who I 
Didn’t love enough. I 
Wish I could say sorry. To my
Friends who saw my scars but
Never really knew the 
Monster in my head. I wish
I could say sorry.

Another line. The rush going
Trough my body the feeling 
Of being alive that short moment that brakes the numbness in my 
Heart. The feeling of being human.

Just one more and I’ll be done.
One more time before nothingness returns. Before I roll down my sleeve 
And put a smile on my face. That disgusting smile that you claim to love. Just one last time