Opened Star Wars Action Figures

I had all of the original Star Wars action figures that were sealed in their packs.
My ex-friend opened them because he was mad at me and I gave him a smack.
I smacked him so hard that I knocked out eight of his teeth.
He ruined the value of my action figures, it is beyond belief.

He was mad because I only paid five bucks for his birthday present that I bought.
As he bled, he wondered if what he did was smart and he decided that it was not.
A collector wanted my action figures and he offered to pay me seventy-five grand.
But now I can't get that price, I'm happy that I hit my ex-friend so hard with my hand.

I collected those action figures during the 70s and 80s, it took me several years.
But now my figures are worth no where near as much and it drives me to tears.
I lost the opportunity to make a lot of money and it was my ex-friend's fault.
And now I'm spending several months in jail because he had me arrested for assault.