A Peeing Machine

A peeing machine, a peeing machine
That's what I've now become
About every two hours like clockwork
It's off to the toity I run

While making a speech at a banquet
Right smack dab in the middle
That old biological urge rears its head
And off I go for a piddle

Considered installing a porta-pottie
In every room of my house
It sure would make a whole lot of sense
Especially when I get soused

It certainly becomes a hairy affair
When I can't undo my buckle
So I just enjoy the cozy warm feeling
Stand and piddle and chuckle