Playing Pretend

It's taking me over.
It's making me colder.
I never asked for this pain.
Let's go back, so I can explain. 
 
It started in second grade.
Wow, it's been almost a decade.
I met a girl at my new school.
We had both been deemed uncool. 
 
We gravitated to eachother.
And so I made her an offer.
We would be bestfriends forever.
And be there whenever. 
 
Everything was good for a long while.
Everyday she'd make me smile.
We had planned our future in detail.
We'd live on a farm, like in a fairytale. 
 
But she started to slip away.
I guess it was mostly just display.
She couldn't hang because of a family thing.
Yet I'd see her hanging with a fling. 
 
Later she spoke words I'll never forget.
They still make my eyes sweat.
She said she became my friend out of pity.
And not because we had a mutuality.
 
She never was my friend.
I guess it was really just pretend.
Since then the numbness has taken over,
and I've become scarily much colder.