Pouring My Own Ketchup

This frigid weather is getting me down
Was planning to sunbathe today
Perhaps I won't with temps in the minus
Skin freezes in 30 seconds they say

Maybe it's better if I wait 4 or 5 months
Sunburn is better than freezer burn
Besides my bikini line would go all the way up
To my nipples as to purple they'd turn

I'm Canadian eh! So what's all the fuss
Used to go out in my jockeys
When temp reached down to negative 20
But I'm no longer young and cocky

With some guys it takes a wee bit longer
For their brains to fully develop
Almost eighty so I'm really looking forward
To finally pouring my own ketchup