Pretending You're Dead

Pretending you're dead can at times be the pits
It frightens the family it scares them to bits

They run around screaming and covering their eyes
They surely weren't ready for my big surprise

Pulling this off was a lead pipe cinch
Haven't seen Charlie or Aunt Abigail since

The dog's on the roof, the cat's up a tree
If the truth be known scared the crap outta me

Decided to confess and tell them the truth
Now my clothes are all ripped I'm missing a tooth

They didn't see the humour they said it twern't funny
Hightailed it outta there, quick like a bunny

The moral of this tale, listen carefully please
If you ever decide to pretend you're deceased

My advice to you wear heavy armour or such
There's a chance you'll soon be needing a crutch!