Rated R

My eleven year old son decided to steal my car.
He drove to the theater and sneaked in to watch a movie that is rated R.
The film is about zombies who rise from the dead in a cemetery.
Now he has to sleep with a night light because it was so scary.
He has nightmares that make him scream every night.
He wets his bed and sucks his thumb because of fright.
His screams wake me up every night, I'm tired of having to get out of bed.
If the brat watches another R rated movie, I'll slap him upside his head.
My eyes are red and puffy because I haven't slept in three weeks.
I'm tired of changing his sheets four times a night when he leaks.
My wife blames me and she hits me so hard that I see stars.
My life is in turmoil because of a damn movie that is rated R.