Self Mutilation

literary food for thought.

Self Mutilation:
(ah bet thar iz an app for that!)
within unlit partial "FAKE abattoir" 
   sans wardrobe alcove 

   where dust bunnies didst allures
completing a simple task among 
   my never ending (Matthew's) list 
   of domestic chores

this undertaking engaged 
   thankfully while completely clothed, 
   and scrounging on all fours 

nonchalantly picking up scattered detritus 
   including food crumbs 
   potential critters hors d'oeuvres 
the spouse (ideally seated 
   on this same swivel chair 

   dashing off these lines
   linkedin with this Macbook Pro) - 
   housing at least four scores
of word documents, she espied 
   the cheeky opportunity 
   that triggered many wars

within arms length the taut outline 
   of me 'lil derriere - re: rear end
temporarily dormant versus 
   when flatulence roars - 

   posterior flank hie 
   could not de fend
she playfully poked her finger 
   that didst dis send
   within close vicinity of sphincter, 
   where rectal turgid business height tend

(most likely this husband not alone 
   getting tushy twerked) inn me own coal
less cents great movements got made 
   jabbing ma bung hole 

   while i happened 
   to be "blindly" groping 
   upon darkly cutout cubby hole
i.e. without wearing bifocals/ spectacles - 

   envision a human mole
thus amply qualified her role
to be literal and figurative 
   pain in the ass vole,

where much to my horror a flash 
of red hot poker blind 
   momentary rage, did lash
out at me, when aye espied 

   a kitchen knife and acted rash
(how cutlery got in closet floor 
   a minor mystery 
   and potential topic de jure 

   for another poem)
   to brandish sharp edge 
   around abdominal area 
grabbed handle with left hand, 
   thence commenced to slash

rhythmically thwacking 
   wrist of right hand
then quickly dropped sharp implement 
(as like a man momentarily possessed) 
   before rendering permanent harm 
   with a river of blood to wash.