Shoreless Dream

A little cut here,
a little dice there,
a scratch,
to take the pressure off,
to let it leak out for a second,
or more,
to feel that freedom,
that release,
that moment away,
from pain,
from fear,
from all that I can never escape.
It never lasts,
the release is a second,
a distraction,
a sigh,
for just a second,
then over and over again,
it lasts longer and longer,
a slice to prolong it,
deeper and harder,
to spread the effect,
until a cool warmth spreads over,
drip by drip,
I've wasted,
I've slipped.
Too late,
I realise,
I've gone too far,
but the coolness makes me sigh,
realising this is what I want,
what I've always wanted,
what I'd dreamed of,
for so long,
I want the pleasure,
the joy,
the profound silence,
of a great dream,
that I will never scream,
or let loose,
just my shoreless dream.