Still Born

Eternally pregnant with pain. 

It grows and grows in me again.

Our relationship was like a still born child.

I nurse it, still and lifeless

I take the blame

I wear the shame 

I morn it's death, again and again.

I held our baby white and dead in my arms- conceived with so much desire

It was and will never be- the perfect life of you and me

I didn't give you kindness 

I didn't give you care 

And no child of ours could put it there

I can't believe you had the nerve to expect what you didn't deserve 

You didn't give me support or help

You didn't hold me with pride

I never felt like you were on my side 

It is no wonder our relationship died

- it was a still born child. 

We were born but we never survived.