Stupid

My next door neighbor is very stupid and a little strange.
When I asked him if he had ever been abroad, he thought that I was insinuating that he had had a sex change.
When I got shot by a mugger, I didn't die because I was wearing a bullet proof vest.
But my neighbor thinks that I wear a blue costume under my clothes with a big letter S.
He thinks that Peter Falk discovered America, every time he watches Columbo.
Men in white coats are coming for him and the funny farm is where he will go.

(This is a fictional poem)