Super Crabs

Something happened that depresses me because it's bad.
I got married two years ago and my wife gave me the crabs.
She swore that she was disease free.
But it's apparent that she lied to me.
These crabs are torture and it's so bad that it makes me scream.
My wife got the crabs by sleeping with an entire football team.
I bought some crab medicine but it didn't work.
I'm really suffering and I'm about to go berserk.
My wife has gained a little weight and she asks if I'm angry about her flab.
I told her I don't give a damn about her weight but I am angry because she gave me the crabs.
I've been to three doctors but they couldn't cure me, why did I even bother?
I recently learned that my mother-in-law did the same thing to my wife's father.
He's had the crabs for 40 years and he can't get rid of them either.
His wife said that she was a virgin and he was a fool to believe her.
If you're about to get married, make sure that your fiance gets tested for any STDs.
Because if he or she is infected, you may end up suffering the same fate as me.