The art of moving on

How did I end up here?
I worried so much about the guy of my past
Knowing me and him were never gonna last
I wasted my time counting on him
He shut the light out, let him win
I don't care
He bought my feelings to share
I wanna thank you for that
I can come forward in confidence
Knowing I am not afraid to confess
Not ashamed of being in a mess, if I can't put this to rest
It is all part of the process
It is the art of moving on
Telling you how I felt about you 
Changed my world perspective
This allowed me to be more reflective
About what really mattered to me most
Then I realized what mattered most was remembering who I am
Loving myself, acknowledging the fact I needed professional help
I needed you as a distraction
A new interaction; to keep me happy
And you gave me what I wanted
But was short-lived

My mind got tied up in the past
Putting you at crossroads on my own path
And I'm sorry for that, for letting myself down
I'm sorry for putting you in a situation you didn't want to be in 
On your side, 
Accepting your apology was the hardest part
Easy to say in one moment "I forgive you"
But forgiveness came with time and understanding
And on that day I did not understand

But in the past 3 months, these failures taught me something
It was not about you, it was about me
Not being myself, when I thought I was
I was in a place of despair
Me there, not being here, here
Depression taught me some lessons
That even when I'm not crying 
Does not mean I'm still sad
I can still be mad
At times when I don't want to be
Then I asked myself why
Why I reacted in such a way
Have I hurt others near me?
I distanced myself from the ones I didn't want to talk to
They asked me certain questions I couldn't answer
Pain rallied up inside of me
Because I let the enemy get to me
Every time a good moment comes then strikes
I just walked away
Pretending nothing happened

However depression is also about progression
As I allow myself to feel what I feel
I don't need to hold back anymore
I'm letting it all out
In different ways
God has been there for me through thick and thin
Patiently waiting for me as I get better
This is is the art of moving on