The Ballad of Milo and Bess

Deciding that I ought to write today, I penned a rhyme, a little ditty
That spoke less of love, was droll, a gas, and some would say just downright witty
So, I put on my cap of thinking and declared there’d be no tales of woe
And, thus began the yarn of our two doggies, Bess The Brave and El Magnifico!

Now Milo or Magnifico had talent, and this forte was a hidden art
As unbeknownst to man and beast, he was master of the silent fart
Such a pro was he, each botty burp, for hours would stay undetected
And Bess his loyal Spaniel sidekick would be the one we all suspected

Each burst of rank toxicity that emanated from his canine core
Would decimate a room in seconds, melting toenails, nose-hair and eyeballs
Each time he cocked his leg and dropped another, every household member ran for cover

And poor wee ‘Bess The Brave’ as we have come to know and love her
Was banished in disgrace, left standing in the naughty corner
And ‘Smell’ Magnifico looked on with sheepish yawning grin, self-satisfied delight
Then settled down in his warm and cosy bed to snooze and belch and fart all night!

Now it’s time this pungent tale must reach its malodorous conclusion
But let me tell you how Bess came to terms with such dreadful persecution
Did she stamp her paws and bark non-stop and turn our tale into an appalling farce?
No, in the end she had no choice but to cork smug Milo’s smelly doggy arse!