The End of the Rope
I see all of you grieving
because I've recently passed.
I hope each day you grieve for me, is the last.
Just as you never left my side;
I'm always near you,
even though I've died.
I can't describe the way it feels,
only that, all my pain is gone,
and here, every broken heart
heals.
There is no more self-loathing, betrayal, or lies.
Once peace takes over,
insanity subsides.
I know I left you suddenly,
and I never reached out.
You see, I knew you'd
come running, and I wanted out.
I simply could not continue
with this facade.
Inside it was dark
I felt twisted and flawed.
Those who were closest to me can convey, I never wanted to live my life
in this way.
I'm sorry I left you with questions unasked.
I lived barely present,
deeply stuck, in the past.
You all were the reason
I got up each day,
Your love filled me then,
and it still does today.
Please let the comfort
from our memories
be enough for now.
Try not to focus on your anger.
Don't obsess over how.
I live in your heart so please
don't be afraid, if you hear
my voice whispering,
‘’Don't cry, I'm okay’’
I have lots of friends and family I've missed over here,
but remember I still love you
and hold each one of you dear
I haven't left you I promise
I'm always right here.
I am grateful for all of my
amazing friends
As it turns out,
that is all that really matters
in the end…
Written by
Heidi Shavill
2018
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Comments
Beautifully written linda
My names not Linda but thank you so much. I wtote it because my best friend hung herself 2 weeks ago and she did not leave a note so I wrote one for her. I appreciate the acknowledgement.
Hello Heidi...
I'm so very for your loss and your soul sister was in so much pain...
This is so very touching and a beautiful tribute...
I really hope she found peace...
Thank you for sharing...
Hugs...
sparrowsong
Thank you so much Sparrowsong. I have been beside myself with grief and I can't see an end in sight. Writing helps but i can't find words for me. Im going to continue trying though
For sure...
It's going to take time indeed...
My Brother's cause of death was listed as unknown but, he had a chemical substance in his system and no one poisoned him and he had Schizophrenia and a terminal illness so they didn't rule it a suicide...
He never said anything about suicide and as far as we all knew he was very afraid of it...
He had a lot of guilt because of his choices and mistakes and he was petrified that God didn't love him and he was very afraid to die...
I tried to tell him to ask for forgiveness he said he did and I prayed for him too and I know our Mother did all the time he just couldn't allow himself to feel forgiven...
We were left with more questions than answers...
Hugs again...
I too know this pain. I am sorry for the loss of your brother. My mother also committed suicide when I was 4 in 1978 she was only 25 years old. She was also a drug addict who would leave her kids in bad places with bad people then forget where she left us. I never looked at hers as selfish in nature more do a means to an end. Perhaps your brother felt his way was the best plan for everyone. I don't pretend to know your situation or that of your brother, what I do know is death. I have lost a lot of people young and old in various ways and all I know for sure is that no body goes ones second before they're supposed to. It doesn't matter how tragic or soon or sudden. I know this to be 100% fact. Can't explain here how I know this I just do. Good luck to you and your family will be in my thoughts
heidi
Of*
Thank you...
You in mine too...