The Fractured Skull

When it comes to cooking, my wife sucks.
Every time she cooked a meal, I said "Yuck".
She cooked three meals a day and I complained again and again.
She got tired of my whining, it was really getting under her skin.
She was going to stab me with a kitchen knife but it was too dull.
She hit me on the head with a skillet and she fractured my skull.
She also poured boiling hot water down my pants.
When she was through, I screamed so loud that they could hear me all the way to France.
She was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon but she's going to appeal it.
Even though she's rotting in prison, she doesn't regret hitting me with that skillet.
She also bought a flamethrower and she fried my fanny.
She wanted to give me arsenic but she couldn't find any.
I have some advice for men so they can avoid having to experience my pain.
If your wife is a lousy cook, you'd better make damn certain never to complain.