the spell broke

The spell of ‘ love’ has broken 
It felt as though my soul had been awoken 
Everything I felt for him 
Was just an illusion 
I was left in confusion 
I had this misconception of love 
From things I had seen in movies 
I wanted to run , I wanted to hide
I wanted to run from this pain
I had building up inside 
I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry 
Why couldn’t I let go? Say goodbye 
It hurt me it hurt me real deep
How can I forget him, leave him behind
Erase the memories I have in my mind 
He looked me in the eye and said he loved me, that was a complete fucking lie
I didn’t understand why
You can’t love someone that fast
I guess that’s why it just didn’t last
He never wiped away any sign of hurt
I know that’s why we drifted apart
He only prioritized me when it was beneficial for him

I had so much going on and yet he never knew
I made my mistakes, as did he 
Only it felt like my mistakes were so much worse, that’s why it fucking hurt.
He would pretend to care 
Pretend to always be there 
He messed up my whole perspective of love
He messed up my head 
All because he wanted a bit of ‘fun’
And it seems like all the months we shared
Was just so he could get me into his bed 
After it happened I don’t know what I felt
Confused? Angry? Hate? Love? 
I don’t know
The only thing I do know is that, fuck.
I can’t let go.

I