There's A Pedophile In The House...

(ah...ah...ah...ham eye white...???)

OMG,... and he looks...
SAY WHAT??? just like me???,...
absolutely NO WAY!!!,
would this sensitive,

respectful, "FAKE" veejay
quiet-natured, mindful,
loving, kind, underplay
justice invoking, hew today

mainly, gentle, friendly, "I say"
enlightened, democratic chap redisplay
any besotted abominable,
blamable, culpable, quay

esse chin hubble
despicable, execrable prey
dot door formidable,
inhospitable...overplay

ying faux indulgent,
NOR be mistaken
to assay, betray, convey,
display, expressway more fay

writ his'm to
gainsay hearsay, inveigh
jaw dropping "FAKE"
yuge weak accusations

(by a long shot), sans
basket of conspiring deplorables
attempting to assassinate
bigly believe me tubby "stupid"

winning loser to berate,
who doth unequivocally create
mine substantial vocabulary rumor,
versus 4th grade reading level

trumpeting librettist - thee great
test Don Quixote
(as falsely sung with hate
full sotto voce), and ramped up

as ill suited mate
a minus [sic] zero moron,
which doth hapt
tubby incredibly tremendous

disservice to bona fide classy idiots
with a lot of money
(like the millions and billions
of my golfing confrères)

given bent iron golf clubs
used by crooked Hillary,
when former Secretary of State
ideal for Putin on the Ritz

by far less exciting, with
Bill Clinton's flirtatious flits
trained pudenda purse
sin null property

of intern (NO FALLACY)
topped as southern delicacy dish
consume mated with buttered grits
pricked prurient peccadilloes licks

suddenly recalling seminal kicks
starting, how with Little Rock kits
he received assistance,
sans starts and fits,

eventually then nubile
ingenue Monica Lewinsky
called time out, cuz at her wits
end once assisting helping

express his "naughty bits,"
when done completing
cum mincecd secrete mission
blue dress draped

expensively furred
(i.e. tricked out) in her
"FAKE" minx hiding
sable animal spirits,

when animal rights
activists vehemently protested
out-coming result
slapping former president
with a PETA file.