There's A War To Be Won

Itās 2011, Iām 14 and Iāve just a confession.Ā
Itās my first glimpse of female oppression.Ā
Not completely sure why but I have an urge to cry.
I look into my mumās eyes, she seems fine. Iām not.Ā
All of a sudden time has stood still.
My urge to cry has become a silent shrill.Ā
How is she so calm?
She must have a skill.Ā
You see, my mum has just told me,
she was raped by a man, at only 5.Ā
And she was to young to know why it ached between her thighs,
so her brain tricked her so now she remembers a beehive.Ā
But all I remember is she was only 5.Ā
Itās 2013, Iām 15 and boys look at me outside the canteen.Ā
Hey mum, thanks for the genes. Iām 15 but feeling 18.
That is, until a man more than double my ageĀ
āhollersā at me from his dirty, what van.Ā
All of a sudden I donāt want to be seen.Ā
I want to cover my body, from my hair to my spleen.Ā
Heās old enough to be my dad.
Doesnāt he know thatās bad?
It doesnāt make you look rad.
It makes you look like a Paedophile.Ā
Itās 2016, Iām 18 and Room 274 will alwaysĀ
make me feel like a whore.Ā
Fortunately, unfortunately Iām not only 5.
I know why it aches between my thighs.
Because two men took me away from my night,
drugged me and raped me and I could barely fight.Ā
Itās 2017, Iām 19 and Iām dying.Ā
IT HAPPENED AGAIN! And I was so close to flying.Ā
I guess I should āBe Braveā,āBe Strongā,
But according to the media I was in the wrong.Ā
āOkay, be more positiveā, hmmm, letās think.Ā
Well this time, for the most part, I was unconscious but now Iām even moreĀ
self-conscious, more semi-conscious, more cautious and my subconscious is fucking killing me.Ā
At least he didnāt have an accomplice but fuck, Iām exhausted.Ā
Itās 2017, Iām 20 and doing much better.Ā
Iām kinda dating this guy, he buys me dinner.Ā
Heās much older than me and he drinks whiskey neat.
And heās paying for everything. This adult thing, itās not cheap.Ā
He wants to have sex with me, I just wanna drink with me.Ā
But he says I canāt say no to him, this much I owe to him.
He buys my dinner so I have to blow him.Ā
And heās āonly a manā and these things he ājust needsā,
But Iām a person
And Iām filled with unease.
Itās 2017 and Iām following my dreams.Ā
Iām back on top and feel like a Queen.Ā
Iāve had my share, wore my heart on my sleeve.Ā
Iām invincible and SO FUCKING NAIVE.Ā
Iāve earned my protection, eternally clean.Ā
Until a man in a club gets his hands down my pants.
But I didnāt want none of that, I just wanted to dance.Ā
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS HAPPENED TO ME?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS MY FAULT?
You donāt put your hands on me.Ā
You donāt know what my bodyās been through.Ā
Iām supposed to be safe now, I earned it.Ā
Itās 2018 and Iāve realised nobody is safe as long as she is alive.Ā
And every friend that I have has a story like mine.
And the world tells us we should take it as a compliment.Ā
Do I look fucking complimented?Ā
No! Iām beat down and broken.Ā
Angry but no longer unspoken.Ā
Because heroes like Ashley, McKayla, Gaga and Ali,Ā
Remind me this is the beginning. It is not the finale.Ā
And thatās why I write and thatās why we rally.Ā
Itās Olympians and a medical resident.
And not one FUCKING word from the man who is President.Ā
Itās about closed doors and hidden secrets and legs in stillettos,Ā
From the Hollywood hills to the schemes and the ghettos.Ā
When babies are dragged from the arms of teen mothers,
And child brides cry globally under the covers.Ā
Who donāt have a voice on any magazine covers.Ā
But none of us are free until all of us are free.Ā
So love your neighbour, please treat her kindly.Ā
Ask her her story, youāll damn right sheāll have one.Ā
Ask her and then shut up and listen.Ā
Black, Asian, poor, wealthy, trans, cis, Muslim, Christian.Ā
Listen. Listen.Ā
And THEN YELL at the top of your lungs.
Be a voice for all those who have prisoner tongues.Ā
For the people who had to grow up way to young;
There are songs to be sung,
There is work to be done,
You know, thereās a war to be won.Ā

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