thinking aloud

Sat around again Christmas has past most had a blast
Sadly I moan I groan flu hit me hard and ear infection started
Never b4  did I know pain ears could hold
To cry real tears for my ears yet not my fears
Nor my life in shatters an days pass no problem do I pass
Seems this is everlasting God I think to u I'll pray 
Then yet again another DAy passed I didn't bless r clasp my hands
So if I can't seem to try ask and plea in prayer for better days
Its no wonder my life is stuck this way building more pain
My mum is clinicly actually classed as insane
I worry I do will me i end up fucked as bad as you
For yes youve injured me bad in past then I stop i think wat bout tat girl I cut up so bad
Police had a bad hard on 4 me yet rip girl u know ur name all I can do is b thankful tat today i ain't locked away for  a bad mistake made
But in my defence u attacked me 1st  b4 trial u died sad yet for I had a2nd chance
Didn't mean it, its true but by god I scared u from face down all over a petty row
Then I stop I think lies I've told so bold tat if made out I'd b disowned
So maybe I'm as crazy as u but seeing u expose it I learned to hide it
Rambeling on I am not much to say police long left my tail but not b4 tey said"wat truley went on??it was like a blood bath" now ur in my may mind for I say god forgive me 4 my mistakes take tat girl let trew heavens gates
ppl who passed who I've known in life
Some i liked some I depised but take them all to peace
Most recently a girl I knew argument s we had blew but we made peace b4 Earth she left to all who have pased Rip..
I'm sure if we can get the new year off to a positive start then to god I will not just think upon but I'll aktually pray
Forgive me I sin day To day  yet I hurt no 1 but me in the way I play to survive to get trew another day
Tis ere I write makes no sense atall but tell me
 does ur life go 2 plan r do u just fuck up and carry on as best as u can?? No1 knows what tomorrow holds we all know we got a try survive and not b left behind as even the poorest and richest of human kind got a eat pay bills and for hostel r palace we all need a money making plan
To god I say help us all amen