To my abuser

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I wake in a cold sweat drowning in my tears,
caused by you ,
your actions left scars that last for years
 
did my screams mean nothing
 
I pleaded you to stop but still you kept on going,
you looked me in the eyes and your desire kept on growing,
I was so afraid yet still I try to keep my pain from showing
 
the pain you caused,
do you know how I felt,
how I felt with you on top of me,
how I felt when fighting to get free,
begging you to leave me be
 
but NO
you kept going,
 
you know that day ,
that die I thought I would die,
and perhaps that thought was not a lie,
because I did die,
you stole my light,
you killed my soul,
then left me all alone to face the night,
 
for days,weeks ,months after,
you gave me glances ,
looks to remind of your unwanted advances,
subtle hints warning not to tell,
so deep into the darkness I fell
 
it has been a while since you did this,
since you through me into my mind's dark abyss,
but I have not healed,
I cannot heal,
while I still feel,
the fear,
the terror that wakes me each time I dare to rest
 
so tell me was it worth it,
did I deserve it,
to die inside just for your enjoyment,
I hope it was,
I really do for I will never forget,
the day you took my innconence when you climbed into my bed