Traveling

Repeated blows of a sledgehammer 
Crash--beat--crash--beat--crash--beat
I realize your absence
And then--I am distracted--I find reprieve.

And swing--crash--beat
it hits me 
And here I am crushed again 
Under the weight of something that's gone

How much your absence weighs
How heavily it bears
Down
On my nerve endings 
On my very blood
Arresting each cell, each sensation 

I can't ask how or why
I know the answer exactly
Just as I know each inch of your skin
Every switch and button and key

I know where you are 
And that you're not here
And that is all I need to know
To fall under the hammer's blows once more

An emptiness shaped like you
Your entire absence 
An entire ocean away
I think sometimes

If the world ended today 
In the apocalyptic societal collapse sense
I could never see you again 
Because we are too far

Further than lovers were ever meant to be
A distance impossible to close 
Only traversable by machinistic magic 

I am at the mercy of so many things
So many things which must go right 
For me to see
Kiss
Hold 
You again 

But I will.

I must.