Trouble by The Lake (practicing a sonnet)
Behind a shady rock, on checkered blanket we sat
One blue sky perfect Sunday afternoon in July
When suddenly the wind blew off her Victorian hat
She screamed as if in pain, my face took on a smile;
surprised by her childish, overly dramatic behavior
screaming impatiently expecting me to act
I stood frozen, unable to admit; I was no swimmer.
Then she took off her clothes before I could react
And disbelief shot through my brain like a whirlwind
Watching her, hat in hand—swimming back over to me
Wondering, was she an exhibitionist or just insane?
While offering a blanket, I looked around nervously
Then emerging from the water; hat against her valley
Amused; sticking out her tongue; the shame I did not see
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Comments
lol, thanks sis, I will be sure to check out how you did with your sonnet, I know there are many types of sonnets and I had a rough time with this one; perhaps the easiest, lol... so I'll try writing a few more until I get the hang of it and maybe try another type....thanks for saying I got the i p part down, it is hard... working with the 'restrictions' is difficult for me; no discipline....the story came fairly simple, but with only fourteen lines I really had to watch myself near the end; felt like I was going off a cliff in a hurry with the story....I know you will knock yours out the park, looking forward sis, cheers
With a snile.....enjoyed....thank you
thank you, Lorris, hugs
Very beautiful for a practice....It actually made me laugh....I'd love to read more Sonnets from you...You did a great job with this..Well done
thanks, Rose, so happy to hear it made you laugh, wow, you are so kind, I will try to write more sonnets; found it hard to stay withing the discipline, takes practice to get used to but ultimately the process in structure can make one better, takes trust....so grateful for your words my friend, hugs
I enjoyed it a lot the imagery is fantastic, the whole piece its funny and captures a sweetness that is found in the beginnings of a relationship..
Thanks
Lorna :) x
thanks for saying that, L Caizley, so glad you enjoyed
My Dear Brother Poet Chris,
Hats off to Christopher
Again, he has orchestrated stanzas of brilliance
As he writes, we are captivated by his mind
Which, always prolific
Inundates us with his unlimited capabilities
Peace and Love,
Larry xxx
brother Larry
you're a sweet man, thanks brother, I really enjoyed writing this, I'm trying to exercise some discipline in writing sonnets, your words are priceless, thanks again for comment
I enjoy the sensual Chris so this sonnett was
most tantalizing ::::
luV from Jai:)
Jai, thank you, and it's based in part on a true story; I really can't swim, if I wrote down what 'really' happened that day, omg! very sensual, but I'm sworn to secrecy, right to the grave....be well brother, Jai D, I raise to you a glass of Chardonnay, cheers
amazing sonnet. i love the story and the rythems you use. theres no way i could write with restrictions let alone come up with any thing like this. just brilliant work.
thanks a million for saying that, mr kapow (great handle) one never knows until they try, I really haven't done a lot of Shakespearean sonnets (not since high school, lol) I get bored with writing the same way, so I have to try different methods to keep myself interested, it can be challenging but fun as well; I won't write unless I feel inspired, it's supposed to be just for fun, lol....thanks again my friend
The challenge you bring on yourself inspires others
so true, thanks for the excellent comment Thomas
Your sonnet placed me there a if I were you. I could feel the warmth, the warm sun and amorous feelings, your scrambled emotions when her hat blew into the water, and the growing. climaxing amazement that followed. Quite the opposite happened to me once. on a windy winter day, right when a young woman rounded a brick building and her wig flew straight toward me. I could tel by her expression that she expected me to intercept it, but I was in shock. It might as well have been her head that blew off. I tried to force myself to grab it, but my mind still hadn't sorted between that mass of hair and a wild creature. Needless to say, I, too missed an opportunity to be 'hero.'
your story is funny, Micheal....I love writing poetry, but I'm a writer first and to be honest this poem is 95% made up; I really can't swim... so your story about the flying wig beats me by a mile....now I'm racking my memory trying to remember what inspired this one, lol....o yeah, I lost a poem I wrote long ago about a Victorian couple having a picnic by the lake, and this one came out as I tried to remember; my memory sucks....glad you enjoyed the story and sonnet, makes writing it worthwhile, great comment, cheers
Real or made up, you MADE it really happen to you now. Okay, see what you can do with the wig story. Thank you. My memory is getting worse by the day and I'm loving it lol.
Excellent sonnet friend. It makes the reader's imagination fly, maybe beyond your intent. Or... Maybe right on it, LOL. Excellent style, I like it.
nice comment, Nelson Canelo, I will never try to 'ground' the reader's imagination, lol....hey, I'm just glad you enjoyed it, it really makes posting a poem worthwhile to get a comment like this one, I haven't gotten the time to sit down and give myself over to the 'poetic voices' recently so nothing worthwhile has been put to paper, the motivation just hasn't been there recently, but your comment is stupendous, thanks again friend, cheers
it is a very nice hat, lol....you're right, not too many people would do that for just a hat, thanks for reading
I loved this,I was grinning away.Reminds me of some of the crazy,funny things that happen in life.I can see your shocked and irriated face.Heroism best saved . Seems like the lady in this would have been a piece of work.Got my laugh for the morning thanks.
thank you so much my friend for taking the time to make such a lovely comment, and I hope you have an even better day today, cheers