TWISTED, SICK!

Addiction, you have sent me reeling,
headlong over feet
I sneak around and lie for you,
it’s important that I’m discreet.
So nothing comes between us , 
cause I need you around 
You pick me up we dance ,twirl, spin
right before you knock me down.
Addiction, are you angry?
I feel strongly that you are...
I scream at you “PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME”
I wear your tell-tale scars 
I mainline this cyanide through my eager veins 

Twisted, 
sick,
compulsion, 
needles stabbing, 
kills my pain. 

Devouring any hopeful dreams
that I could one day be
Someone to be cherished,
loved and truly happy.
When I was ten
he pushed you in
hoping I wouldn’t tell 
Now we are inseparable
depravity is where we dwell 

Trust me 
I don’t want to feel this shit
so I stay high
Until the day comes to pass
when I don’t want to die.

Heidi Shavill 2013