In Vain 2

To anyone who dislikes/hate my work
Because it sounds too depressing...
I'm sorry for my limited emotional honesty,
The most I can give you as of this point in my life is poetry for hope.
And even still,
I can't write a poem for hope without darkness being involved
Pain to me,
Is like hustling to the uneducated and not so intelligent,
The one thing I effortlessly understand.
To write happy poetry or raps,
Is like a high school dropout hustler,
Aiming to shoot for the stars in the doctorate layer of the academic atmosphere.
Space, technically...
Why shoot for something that's physically out of my reach,
I'll stick to poetically shooting myself because it's easier.
I watch videos on YouTube of Urban Word poets
Because I am trying to still be part of an environment I will NEVER fit in with,
Personally,
And damn sure artistically.
Also because I am currently trying to write my own urban word story,Trying to do research on poets I wanna speak on within sharing my journey.As I pay my respects to everyone I'm jealous of,
And glorify the fact that I have a dead dream on my conscience
Which I'm struggling to give a honorable burial in my writing ground...
I have no legacy at Urban Word,
And part of me wants to believe that being a successful rapper will make me feel better
And finally let that go...
Yet part of me already knows that I can never make up for it.
And from this generates a large amount of sadness,
That piles onto sadness from my insecurities and loneliness.
So no matter what I write,
I'm always writing from pain
Because I'm a man who walks forward facing backwards...
And to learn how to walk forward facing forward...
For me,
Will be like my brother aiming to shoot for the stars
In the doctorate layer of the academic atmosphere.