Why I Had To Pay On Valentine's Day

My wife became furious because I forgot to buy her some candy and flowers.
The bitch tried to electrocute me with a toaster while I was taking a shower.
She told me to go fuck myself so I told her to go suck a donkey's dick.
And just because of that, the wicked witch of the east became a lunatic.
I happened to see her putting rat poison in my lunch.
I normally won't hit women but I knocked her out with just one punch.
Things got even worse when she called my mother-in-law.
She took her mother's advice and came at me with a chainsaw.
If you're a man, take my advice or your wife will make you pay.
Don't forget to give her candy and flowers on Valentine's Day.