WIFE

I'm angry because my wife turned out to be a shopaholic slut.
She thinks she owns me just because her name is tattooed on my butt.
Even though I'm a poor man, my wife believes in living large.
My credit cards are maxed out because of what she's charged.
I go hungry while she and her lovers go to five star restaurants and order caviar.
I got my ass kicked when I tried to stop two large men from repossessing my car.
She brings her lovers to my house, the tramp doesn't even try to be discreet.
I'm about to pass out because for the last four days, I've had nothing to eat.
I just knocked her out, put her in a crate and mailed her to Japan.
I'm doing a terrible thing to the Japanese but at least I'm a free man.
I don't have to worry about her returning and going berserk.
She'll be stuck in Japan because she's too damn lazy to work.
My hair has turned solid gray because of what she did to me.
I may look like an eighty year old but I'm so happy to be free.