Oh my gawd!

Person of interest linkedin
with Stash Capital Management...
committed bank fraud,
and if witness to such thievery
stun gun of mine drawed,
which word archaic
or nonstandard past tense of draw,
(I would make exception
if perpetrator knock out broad
asking such out of character
to at the least buy me supper),
and retrieved from her bag of tricks
ranging from physical devices
that steal card information
to malicious software
that targeted online
checking account of mine
feverishly employed (courtesy
sophisticated state of the art
computer hardware and/or soft-ware,
whether solitary lone wolf,
hacker collective or group,
or more specifically a hacktivist collective,
cybercriminal group,
or state-sponsored group (like APT groups),
nevertheless whether culprit acted alone
perhaps to impress geek squad
or maybe punk created for extra credit
accessing their own innovation
or thru the agency of groupthink
pulled off an electronic heist courtesy
when he/she they/them
went blithely cruising along viz -
(short for "videlicet,"
which comes from
the Latin phrase "videre licet,"
meaning "it is permitted to see)"
the information super highway
the figurative bottom line
being intent to inflict shell-shock
with cake-walk ease
pre-meditated or acted out ad-hoc
to withdraw and exhaust account,
no matter impossible mission
fraught with peril he/she hell-bent
to extract every last red cent
personal or quota established among posse
set their sites to undertake
what would rank to them
as an every day event
no matter novelty wore off
after initial initiation
to apply malicious codified
byte size criminal activity
bitta bing bitta bang and expedite
just a routine unauthorized use
of a computer or network
to take property,
obtain property through deceit,
or manipulate digital information
for personal gain or to cause damage
explicit singular dirty deed done dirt cheap
illicit complicity among gang members
earns collective figurative stars and stripes
despite humdrum hitting virtual pay dirt frequent
car - reed out videlicet reputable maverick
or notorious den of thieves
celebration of natural high
compounded by assistance
from storied legend of Molly Hatchet
wreaking invisible havoc
among telecommunications infrastructure,
especially hi-jacking kick as*
payload after breaking
user name and password
or stealthily getting hold
of credit card information
also known as skimming,
the act of using illegal devices
or software to secretly capture financial data
from credit cards, debit cards,
or PINs during legitimate transactions,
and on the sly (and the stoned family)
criminals install physical devices on ATMs,
gas pumps, or POS terminals
to steal card information
from the magnetic stripe,
or use cameras and overlay keypads
to capture PINs
also using malicious software,
known as e-skimmers,
to capture payment details
from online forms, which stolen data
then used to make fake cards
or conduct unauthorized
purchases and withdraw cash,
leading to financial loss
and identity theft for victims.