Absence of your presence in my life woke sadness
Papa unexpectedly overtaken with woe
flashback shook me complex edifice
head, shoulder, knees in to toe
quietly processing silent film status quo
shant upended jollity
between when a little girl no
matter mine nonconformist
mien unconditionally accepted,
ye dear daughter(s) don't know
sudden onset of anguish ho... ho... ho
holiday cavorting accentuated as
charade, facade, masquerade fueling ego
particularly Santa with the Misses,
and her sharp claws
keeping warm while
temperature five below.
No matter most every detail
I accurately gauge to attest
your life bustling
chock full o' zest
withheld, no doubt emotions
smolder within your chest
and kudos to thee lovely offspring
(both) packed bags
and headed out west
twas honorable duty, though now...
papa feels like
an unwanted guest
thee survived, albeit psyche bruised,
undergoing the electric
kool aid acid test
laughter when playing
Mancala, Uno, Sorry, et cetera,
how dada predictably did jest
when table turned,
I (spoiler alert)
willingly, lovingly, and blithely
lost desire to win quest
to dispose cards, game
pieces, and/or glass beads
invariably other occasions
ye long since left (as thee must)
me and mother with an empty nest.
Nothing more doth
Matthew Scott ask or desire
then to delight and bask
as well educated hire
swimmingly how thee
learned to acquire
confidence and multitasking,
while I trod thru much
psychological muck mire
oft times (like now)
experiencing financial straits dire,
linkedin to when only youngster fire
within me belly to joie de vivre
peter out and prematurely expire
and yours truly reckons nothing
can change the past aghast being
deprived a marshmallow
at long ago time sharing campfire
with shortcomings scalding,
killing, crimping relationship,
doth now conclude another poetic wire.
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Comments
Hello again, looks like I found another one of your poems. Super!
I'm always amazed at the level of vocabular you incorporate into your poetry. I am however, slightly confused about what the poem is really about. I think that using these short connecting phrases and words that don't seem to fit in certain places, may need further clarifying. Maybe you could add a repeating line before each stanza, or build on the existing poem. When there is a string of words that a person cannot understand, you could add a phrase at each level that states what is happening. These are my initial ideas. When I return to read it again, I may feel differently.
Favorite part:
In the lines above, you do a fantastic job providing details about the "who" in this instance, Matthew Scott is named in your poem. Who is he? Why does knowing who he is matter? Is he a famous poet? Write more about him in that preceding stanza. Again, these are ideas generated from reading your poem just once.
Hope I helped some.
I will return to read it again.
the unknown he happens tubby me, and treasured young adult daughter thine eldest, stronghold on her future finds this papa relegated to the trash bin of her history, i.e. herstory. obliviousness regarding readers lack of awareness, yes benefit explaining why she matters to more so than vice versa. Nothing but that she (whom yours truly helped conceive) functions at a much higher level of independence versus myself at same age.
The tragic pitfalls punctuated malleable, impressionable, enviable formative years of both progent, but said eldest (Eden Liat) as thee oldest and wisest bore full brunt of pitiable living situation undermining blame and shame toward biological parents oft times want times wanting with money, thus empty cupboards and pennilessness indelibly etched a permanent unpleasant memory, despite profuse apologies courtesy sensitive dada (me) who little or nothing beneficial to alleviate hardship, cuz he experienced profound mental illness crisis written about within other poems, one or more I can willingly and readily share if receptive.
thank ye again for helpful positive criticism -- matthew scott harris
You have a great way with words. Even in your reply, I can tell that you are well-read. Thanks for letting me know more about the poem.
I'll be sure to read more of your work soon.
Happy New Year
how flattering to receive complimentary commentaries to help buoy sinking spirits reinforced when painfully accepting my less than stellar impact constituting father/daughter dissolved bond. rather than belabor the oft repeated storied lament, I best briefly, emphatically, and immediately bequeathing your 2020 celebration as the penultimate emotional moment of self actualization.